Singing myself to sleep
As if the nightmares won’t appear in my dreams
Burying my head into my pillow
As if…I hide my face there long enough it will all disappear
Why did I open any doors
Why did I not just stay in my box of remedies
Why I am afraid of everything
Why do I want to push everyone away
Making myself sick within my own mind
My heart wants to beat but I just want to lock it up
Not sure what to say
How to act
A nervous wreck
Just want to scream out all the pain, I have trapped within myself
Why can’t I be the girl who only wants someone next to her
Why can’t I stop this longing for the unknown
I keep digging myself deeper and deeper into this longing
Have I placed myself in this place…wanting something that doesn’t exist
What I would give for one moment in this world I long for…
I have stopped searching for it
I tell myself, if this is real it will appear out of nowhere
Trying to make myself appear to be like everyone else
Why do I feel so different from everyone around me…
Maybe I am the normal one and they are the weird ones
I want every moment, breath, and step to feel life within it
Maybe everyone else has already found this
As I stand outside of the crowd not feeling anything
But the longing for something different from what I see
Telling myself…
Be patience, this life has more to offer
While you wait…
Let your bare feet feel the grass beneath them
Let the wind wrap around your body
Let the sun embrace your skin
While the moonlight reflects off your beautiful body
It will come when you least expect it
It will be as a roaring fire taking over the forest
You will feel it all
This is your time to love yourself
Just breath and take it all in piece by piece
Wrap yourself in all the glory around you…
~ by jbritt